Now listen.
I have never been and i never will be ginger. Ginger people have orange hair, does my hair look orange to you? Are you colour blind? The generalisation of people with red hair that they are ginger is a little bit narrow minded. Everyday of my life i must have had someone call me a "Ginge" or "Ginger Bastard"
(not only am i ginge but you question my parentage too?) "Ginger Bollocks" (been watching me take a piss have you?)
As i get older it gets less red than what it was when i was a kid (In fact its going grey now lol), anyway my mum says its Titian? Wtf is titian btw? I think my mum may be colour blind too.
Saturday, 23 April 2011
Thursday, 16 December 2010
Wnkr
Txt spk...Fucking hell it makes me rage. Especially when you arent fucking texting. Why in the name of god do i want to read a post from anyone on Facebook for example where they do this?
"Jst sayin peeps, Tag dis pic if u lyk it"
Its absolute shite, lazy and very very annoying. The next step is people talking like this in real life, or should i say IRL.
"Jst sayin peeps, Tag dis pic if u lyk it"
Its absolute shite, lazy and very very annoying. The next step is people talking like this in real life, or should i say IRL.
Saturday, 27 November 2010
Jaffa
So i finally became infertile, Which believe me is GOOD news. I am what is widely known as a "Jaffa". Now this process started about 10 months ago and has taken until now to be resolved, Which to me seems a long time just for chopping someone's bollocks off.
The time i went to see the consultant was a pretty harrowing experience. Now with me being a bit on the dumb side i didnt realise i may get "Examined" so to speak. So i went in there and HE was going through all the things that will happen and how it works etc etc. When all of a sudden he says "Right Mr Savage, Can you just go behind the curtain take down your pants and lie on the bed" I nearly told him to fuck off!! There was a female nurse there too. So i did as i was told, Lying there with my not so proud junk hanging out and he starts having a rummage around .... Well i nearly turned into a one year old again, Those balls were dying to jump back up..
The day of the operation was grim too. You have never seen anything like a hospital ward full of around 12 men waiting to have the snip and not wanting to be one the last to go in. Fuck, Its like waiting to be executed.
Only good thing that happened really at the time is that they put you in jock strap while you are asleep and fill it full of padding...Looks like you had a penis enlargement at the same time. (That would be a nice bonus, And more men would go for it no doubt).
So finally after all the wait i have my results and its clear. I cant make any more babies. Thank the lord and baby jesus for that. Amen.
The time i went to see the consultant was a pretty harrowing experience. Now with me being a bit on the dumb side i didnt realise i may get "Examined" so to speak. So i went in there and HE was going through all the things that will happen and how it works etc etc. When all of a sudden he says "Right Mr Savage, Can you just go behind the curtain take down your pants and lie on the bed" I nearly told him to fuck off!! There was a female nurse there too. So i did as i was told, Lying there with my not so proud junk hanging out and he starts having a rummage around .... Well i nearly turned into a one year old again, Those balls were dying to jump back up..
The day of the operation was grim too. You have never seen anything like a hospital ward full of around 12 men waiting to have the snip and not wanting to be one the last to go in. Fuck, Its like waiting to be executed.
Only good thing that happened really at the time is that they put you in jock strap while you are asleep and fill it full of padding...Looks like you had a penis enlargement at the same time. (That would be a nice bonus, And more men would go for it no doubt).
So finally after all the wait i have my results and its clear. I cant make any more babies. Thank the lord and baby jesus for that. Amen.
Monday, 22 November 2010
Teeth
So i went to the dentist today.She pulled a tooth, Fucking hell it feels like your head is being pulled off.
And the injection in the roof of your mouth? They should use that shit on terrorists when they interrogate them, no doubt in my mind they would spill everything in five seconds flat.
So now i am sat here with a numb face, spitting blood and the headache from hell and fucking Peppa Pig on behind me. Can this day get any worse i ask myself?
And the injection in the roof of your mouth? They should use that shit on terrorists when they interrogate them, no doubt in my mind they would spill everything in five seconds flat.
So now i am sat here with a numb face, spitting blood and the headache from hell and fucking Peppa Pig on behind me. Can this day get any worse i ask myself?
Saturday, 20 November 2010
Blog
I now realise that my blog name is shit, in about 6 years i will be in my forties. Therefore in my fourth decade,which makes my blog name absolute bollocks. FML lol.
Its the simple even trivial things in life that annoy me the most....
Its the simple even trivial things in life that annoy me the most....
Friday, 19 November 2010
Crisps
Yes crisps (or chips for the yanks).
More to the point pretentious crisp names. This is something that annoys me to the point where on the odd occasion i go shopping with the wife, i feel like ripping all the bags from the shelves.You probably don't understand what i mean, here are two examples:
"Mature Chedder and Onion Relish", fuck off its Cheese and Onion.
"Sea Salt and Balsamic vinegar", no....It's salt and vinegar.
Anyone that buys these just because of the name is an idiot, They seem to think they taste better! NO THEY DONT YOU MORON! its just a packet of cheese and onion crisps!
Now i know people might think this is petty and a bit of nonsense but it bothers me a lot. I also realise it doesnt matter in the grand scheme of things but these are the kind of things that get on my nerves. I must be a petty man to let something this trivial bother me, i suppose i am lol.
Now i tried to keep this as clean as possible (only one naughty word i think so far), But i cant be held responsible if sometimes the odd fucking swear word comes out.
More to the point pretentious crisp names. This is something that annoys me to the point where on the odd occasion i go shopping with the wife, i feel like ripping all the bags from the shelves.You probably don't understand what i mean, here are two examples:
"Mature Chedder and Onion Relish", fuck off its Cheese and Onion.
"Sea Salt and Balsamic vinegar", no....It's salt and vinegar.
Anyone that buys these just because of the name is an idiot, They seem to think they taste better! NO THEY DONT YOU MORON! its just a packet of cheese and onion crisps!
Now i know people might think this is petty and a bit of nonsense but it bothers me a lot. I also realise it doesnt matter in the grand scheme of things but these are the kind of things that get on my nerves. I must be a petty man to let something this trivial bother me, i suppose i am lol.
Now i tried to keep this as clean as possible (only one naughty word i think so far), But i cant be held responsible if sometimes the odd fucking swear word comes out.
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